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Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Rekindling Your Romance

Hubbies and wifeys, check how your romance is doing. Maybe you need to reconnect :).

  1. Train your tongue. researchers at Gottman Insitute in Seattle were 94% accurate at predicting whether newlyweds' marriages would last simply by observing a 15-minute conversation. The secret? Couples who made the long haul had a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative communications. Keep your coupledom going strong by saying 5 nice things for every criticism you give your mate.

  2. Show your love. "A lot of people can talk about love, but real love means you engage in loving behavior," say Ron and Pat Potter-Efron, authors of Reclaim Your Relationship. It's the little surprises that keep romance alive. Give your man plenty of PATS: playfullness (instigate a pillow fight), adventurousness (try eating new cuisines), thoughtfulness (give him a shoulder rub when he's working hard) and spontaneity (hire a babysitter on a whim for a night on the town).

  3. Ditch the expectations. A whooping 69% of couple's conflicts are irresolvable because they stem from core personality differences, according to the researchers at the Gottman Insitute. Learn to live with the issues you can't change and work on what you can. "Expect a lot and you'll be frequently disappointed. Accept a lot and you'll be frequently delighted," say the Potter-Efrons. When he's getting on your nerves, jot down things you love about him (like his contagious laugh). It'll transfer your focus from the bad stuff to the good. Slip the list into his briefcase to make him feel special and give your relationship a boost.